Most self-help books fail because they ask for self-change, something that’s nearly impossible for anyone to provide.

A self-help book shows you how its author became successful. You’ll never be the author, though.

I’ve learned that the most helpful self-help books are those that I read like a shattered mirror. They were helpful to the extent that I saw my own reflection cast back. It wasn’t that the author didn’t ask me to change; it was that I didn’t ask myself.

When you read the self-help genre, or listen to the advice of successful people, don’t think “how can I change to be more like them?” Instead, look for existing strengths in common.

If you dedicate your life to the pursuit of self-change, you'll miss the one opportunity you have to use your strengths. You'll miss life itself.