Tony Schwartz on “The Only Thing that Really Matters”:
From an evolutionary perspective, the need to be valued is primal and survival-based. Sociologist Elijah Anderson describes respect as a key to the “code of the streets” in inner cities.
And, even in the knowledge worker’s world,
To feel valued (and valuable) is almost as compelling a need as food. The more our value feels at risk, the more preoccupied we become with defending and restoring it, and the less value we’re capable of creating in the world.
I’m not that familiar with Tony’s work, but I agree completely with the message in his article.
If you want to really understand the value of making people feel valued, start with Dale Carnegie’s 1937 classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. I like to think of Carnegie’s ideas as the “first principles” of self-help, which, as paradoxical as it may seem, starts with making others feel important.
It was true 100,000 years ago. It was true in 1937. And now, in the information economy, where we transact in social capital first and dollars second, it’s truer than ever.